my horoscope today

You're not exactly incapable of holding a grudge, but on a day like today, you are sure to forgive more easily than anyone else. Let those who offend you know that they're off the hook as soon as they make amends.

 So I wonder a lot about what would make it 'right' for me with the parents.  Sometimes I think that if the IF (Intended Father) would send me a letter telling me he is so sorry for forcing the birth, not caring that the safety of his babies & my life were at risk, betraying me, and generally acting like a douche towards my friends, family & myself if that would somehow justify my feelings that he did not care about me, but that he does now genuinely see how wrong he was.  I feel like 'a means to an end' to him.  I feel like the IM (Intended Mother) wanted a baby more than anything else in life and so he gave his sperm & wrote the checks to make her happy because he loves her.  I have no idea if he wanted the babies to complete his family.  He never even so much as said "thank you for taking such amazing care of our children..thank you for eating healthy food to nourish them so that they are healthy...thank you for believing in your body...thank you for giving over two years of your life, and your family's lives, for my family...just thank you".  Not one single time did he ever tell me how much he appreciated me when I almost died during the birth.  I was told this all over and over from my IM, but never once from him.  Now he did thank me for traveling to the doctors appointments.  He thanked me for doing medically unnecessary ultrasounds & tests to put their minds at ease.  He thanked me for sending the bills to him in a timely manner.  But, almost ten weeks later he has yet to say 'thank you for giving me two healthy sons'.
The only time he ever said that he was sorry for anything was during 'the appointment' when I was ordered to show up the next morning to be induced.  He said, sarcastically, that he was "sorry that you aren't getting the birth that you dreamed in your head that you would have, but that's the way it goes".  That's it.  He has never told me that he is sorry that what he made me do destroyed me.  I've never been told that he is sorry that he refused to allow my body to do what it was made to do.  He has not told me that he is sorry that he went behind my back and developed the plan for my birth.  (side note: I hold the OB responsible for his part in the whole plan also, but it was almost out of his hands at the end.... but there will a plethora of posts all about the OB and the damage that he did to me later as I can't write/talk about him still)  The IF has never told me that he is sorry that he did not step in, as a human being, and stop what was being done to me by the OB during the birth.    
  
Why do I care?